Literally every five minutes. There are so many commercial breaks on network TV that a 40-minute episode ends up lasting an hour. That’s a third of your time spent watching stupid commercials.

1. Allt the Commercial Breaks on TV

The longer I stay in the US, the more I actually like icy cold water. It’s definitely nice and refreshing in the summer. But restaurants serve glasses filled with ice cubes to the brim in the middle of January. Do you really need to feel even colder when it’s freezing outside? Also, does no one have sensitive teeth in this country?

2. The Obsession with Icy Cold Water

This is not French bread. This is an insult to Franc and all bread.

3. The Thing You Cann French Bread

Every state has different laws. For example, in one state you can make a right on red light but not in another. Some states allow fireworks while others don’t. How do you keep up Americans?

4. Laws Changing from State to State

Just my opinion, but you probably shouldn’t get the name of your new dermatologist from the subway.

5. Ads for Lawyers and Doctors

The highways in the US are twice as big as ours in Europe.

6. Size of Highways

The drug ads running are 2% commercial and 98% obligatory listing all the possible side effects.

7. Commercials for Prescribed Drugs

If it’s not okay, I’ll let you know. In France, we like our waiters indifferent and borderline rude — you could literally choke in front of their eyes and they wouldn’t pay you any attention.

8. Waiters asking you if everything is okay all the time

Bad for rinsing your butt and bad if you’re tall. Just bad. This is really weird and we people in other countries are like What the Fuck! And how do they just manage such a mounted showerhead?

9. Well-Mounted Showerheads

 
It’s all pretty much the same color and the same size. This is so confusing and could cause a serious damage as well. You don’t know when you are giving what currency in the dark.

10. All American Currency Looks Identical

Don’t get me wrong, when it’s 108 degrees outside, AC is a real blessing and I wouldn’t survive a summer in NYC without it. But do we really have to go from sweltering heat to literally 40 degrees indoors? Can’t we find some nice middle ground between sweating our asses off and having to wrap ourselves in a blanket to make it through a day at the office?

11. Air Conditioning Everywhere Pumped up to the Max

12. Flags Everywhere

13. Not Having the Tax Included on the Price Tag

 

14. The Size of Cars

15. Easy Cheese

I have no words.