ways that in which the relationship be like business.
We often will confide in our friends that our relationships feel a lot like work. And it’s true, relationships are hard work, and many of us end up with partners that are sleeping on the job. Sometimes, that lemon of a partner may even be ourselves.
A lot of us have been in jobs we knew weren’t working out, but were afraid of being unemployed, and stayed. We’ve probably done the same in relationships. We’ve agreed to conditions we knew weren’t right for us in order to keep the peace, and maybe we’ve started to look at those classified ads even while still ‘in bed’ with our current partner.
The truth is, relationships are a lot like business relationships, in ways both good and bad. And maintaining both require a lot of the same considerations. “I counsel couples to run their relationships more like they run their businesses. Many women think this is unromantic, but if more couples did so, they’d be better off,” says Dr. Nancy B. Irwin, a therapist and clinical hypnotist.
“I suggest they hold a weekly meeting to review key issues (money, chores, sex, etc.) and check in with one another,” Most businesses hold weekly staff meetings to review key issues before things go awry and begin to fester. “I find this lays a foundation for more intimacy, romance, and spontaneity. Each partner generally feels heard, cared for, and safer in the relationship,” says Dr. Irwin. “The check-in is not a time to be critical or complain. It is a time to make suggestions of what would be preferable, what is working beautifully, and what could use some improvement.”
“Before anyone goes into a new business venture, you will do a SWOT analysis (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats) as those looking to bring more love in our lives, we too need to do a SWOT analysis of ourselves,” says Darren Pierre, a speaker, educator and author of The Invitation to Love: Recognizing the Gift Despite Pain, Fear, and Resistance. “Asking questions, like how am I holistically healthy enough to hold space for another person, is a key question to ask before entering into a serious relationship with another person. Second, business like relationships take time, we have to ride the wave. Stocks fall, the economy fluctuates, but those who find success are often those who are able to be nimble while flexing their might to persist,” says Pierre. Relationships will have their own metaphorical rise and falls, a person’s ability to adapt with their ever-evolving relationship, and persist despite difficulties is key.
2. Making That Connection
What are the chances you will meet the love of our life in a bar? Probably about the same chance that you will meet your next biggest client at a networking event. “Instead of concentrating on high-traffic networking events to find new relationships, utilize introductions. Getting an introduction from another client or friend is like going on a blind date set up by a friend. Each is an opportunity to meet and get to know one another, gain approval, and move in to the “dating/courtship” stage,” says Joleen Jaworski
3. Desperation’s Never Sexy
When dating, one thing that can stop everything in its tracks is the scent of desperation. This is similar in business. “When someone is looking for a new client, account or business relationship, desperation can turn off the opportunity quickly. Coming from a place of confidence and being able to clearly speak about value in addition to being interested in the collaboration is what will help to cultivate a positive business relationship. Dating is similar in that attraction often happens when people come from a place of clear confidence, being able to speak about who they are without reservation while being curious and engaged in who the other person is,” says Michael Diettrich-Chastain, a Licensed Professional Counselor, Consultant, Coach and Facilitator with a private consulting and counseling business in Asheville, NC.
4. Respond, Don’t React
It’s incredibly easy when in a relationship for a simple difference of opinion to debate into slamming doors and ignored phone calls. “When conflict arises — and it will — between you and customers or between you and a significant other, it’s crucial to think through your response before spouting off. If proving that you’re right comes at the expense of the relationship, you’ll suffer a lot more than just a hit to your ego,”
5. Chemistry & The Chase
Whether it’s for romance or business, people spend time with people they like to be with, says Paige Arnof-Fenn, Founder & CEO of Mavens & Moguls Mavens & Moguls. That being said, “The harder you chase them, the faster they run away. When it’s over, cut your losses and move on as fast as you can. The abusers never do change,” says Arnof-Fenn.
6. Knowing When To Quit
Finally, if the relationship or business partnership just can’t work, it’s important to recognize when to throw in the towel and leave. “In business, your best loss is your first loss. And in relationships, it’s important to recognize when to quit, when you’ve run out of options and when your sense of self and emotional well-being is in jeopardy,” says Dr. Gross.